- How many cookies could a good cook cook
If a good cook could cook cookies?
A good cook could cook as much cookies
As a good cook who could cook cookies.
- Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked.
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?
- How much dew does a dewdrop drop
If dewdrops do drop dew?
They do drop, they do
As do dewdrops drop
If dewdrops do drop dew.
- I saw Susie sitting in a shoe shine shop.
Where she sits she shines,
And where she shines she sits.
- How many boards
Could the Mongols hoard
If the Mongol hordes got bored?
From the comic Calvin & Hobbes, by Bill Waterson
- How can a clam cram in a clean cream can?
Анекдоты
- A
husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their
computer. The husband puts, «Mypenis,» and the wife falls on the ground
laughing because on the screen it says, «Error. Not long enough.»
- The
teacher asked Jimmy, «Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?» Jimmy
replied crying, «Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, ‘I am going to
eat that pussy once Jimmy leaves for school today!’»
- Teacher: «Kids,what does the chicken give you?»
Students: «Meat!»
Teacher: «Very good! Now what does the pig give you?»
Students: «Bacon!»
Teacher: «Great! And what does the fat cow give you?»
Students: «Homework!»
- A
child asked his father, «How were people born?» So his father said,
«Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made
babies, and so on.» The child then went to his mother, asked her the
same question and she told him, «We were monkeys then we evolved to
become like we are now.» The child ran back to his father and said, «You
lied to me!» His father replied, «No, your mom was talking about her
side of the family.»
- A
family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many
kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a
woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like
melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still
nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son
asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his
wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of
willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes
through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree,
mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but
reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas
tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are
just for decoration.”
- A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman.
Boy: Why do you look so fat?
Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me.
Boy: Is it a good baby?
Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby.
Boy: Then why did you eat it?!
- A
blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They
found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one
wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The
brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home
with her family. The blonde said, «Awwww, I wish my friends were here.»
- A
teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn’t paying
attention, so she asks him, «If there are three ducks sitting on a
fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?» Johnny says, «None.» The
teacher asks, «Why?» Johnny says, «Because the shot scared them all
off.» The teacher says, «No, two, but I like how you’re thinking.»
Johnny asks the teacher, «If you see three women walking out of an ice
cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice
cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?» The
teacher says, «The one sucking her ice cream.» Johnny says, «No, the one
with the wedding ring, but I like how you’re thinking!»
|
Комментариев нет:
Отправить комментарий